


Father Figure

by Lord_Byron_Mudkippington



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 03:20:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22089175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Byron_Mudkippington/pseuds/Lord_Byron_Mudkippington
Summary: Nico goes over to Honoka's house to have dinner with her family.
Relationships: Kousaka Honoka/Yazawa Nico
Comments: 6
Kudos: 47





	Father Figure

**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Year! I finished this fic just before 2019 ended, and I'm ready to get this one posted. Thought of it while driving home, when I get half of my good ideas.

When Nico had told Eli and Nozomi that she was going to meet Honoka's parents for the first time, they didn't believe her when she said she wasn't nervous. According to them, meeting your girlfriend's parents was supposed to be a nerve-wracking experience because there was always that worry they wouldn't accept you. Well, maybe that was how it went with those two, but she wasn't worried one bit, and that was the truth. Sure, she didn't know Honoka's parents, but if they were anything like their free-wheeling daughter, then she had nothing to worry about. She'd just put on the Nico Nico charm and they'd be eating out of the palm of her hand. They'd be asking her to marry their daughter by the end of the night. Not that she was ready for marriage or anything...

It helped that Honoka didn't seem nervous either. She'd only known Honoka for five months now, but it was so patently obvious whenever she was nervous. Her hands would start rubbing her arms constantly, and she'd blink way too much for a normal person. There wasn't any way of hiding it from the great Nico Nii. So, considering that Honoka looked genuinely excited to have her over for dinner, she felt that she had nothing to worry about.

As for why they were dating after only knowing each other for a few months, Nico didn't believe in protracted courtships. She decided early on that she wanted to be with Honoka, because her enthusiasm for the idol game was contagious, and it reminded her of herself from a couple years ago. After that, she had quickly pursued her, and she had _not_ been a little tsundere about it, and don't let Maki tell you otherwise. She is a liar. Don't ask Honoka about it either. She's remembering it wrong.

So anyway, they were dating, and Nico was totally fine with meeting Honoka's parents. First off, she got to spend time with her girlfriend after idol practice, even if her parents were going to be hovering around like hawks. They could hold hands under the dinner table like a real young couple. Secondly, she'd get a free dinner, and she wasn't going to say no to that. For a girl of her economic level, she couldn't really pass on something like that. This was for Honoka first and foremost, though. _Not_ for a free meal. _Mostly_ not for one.

As the sun was setting, she stood on the Kousaka porch, ringing the doorbell. She had worn her cutest casual outfit just for the occasion: a pink sweater and black skirt, with matching black heels and a choker. Whenever she'd said that being short was part of her cutesy charm, she wasn't _lying_ exactly. She just didn't like how people like Eli "Tally McTallerson" Ayase would always lord it over her just how tall they were. Well guess what? She wasn't even _that_ tall, so there! It wasn't even a big deal. She didn't care what they said. Wearing four inch heels was just an accessorizing choice. Do not question the great Nico Nico Ni, got it?

"Nico! Glad you could make it!" Honoka opened the door, wearing something quite a bit more casual. She was just in an orange tank top and gray sweatpants, which didn't exactly seem like 'meet the parents' dinner attire. Then again, this was Honoka, who had thought that her underwear was an acceptable substitute for a bathing suit. One should never assume that this girl could do something fashionable without outside help. Had she really not gained any idea of fashion through her years-long friendship with Kotori? Not even through osmosis?

"Of course I could make it, dummy. I said I was coming, didn't I?" She rolled her eyes, tapping her foot on the ground. "You gonna let me in?" Honoka let out a quiet noise of realization, stepping back to allow Nico passage. With a sigh, she stepped inside and shut the door behind her. Honestly, it would be easier to be frustrated with Honoka if she wasn't so irrepressibly adorable. All she had to do was smile that bright, beaming smile of hers and any annoyance just faded away. It was actually... well, _annoying_ how that worked. It was also a little annoying how cute Honoka looked in such simple, sloppy attire. She looked totally chillaxed and just... _cool_. Could she pull off that kind of look herself?

She looked down at her heels, shaking her head slightly as she removed them. Well, so much for her more impressive height. The ceiling seemed a little bit too far away from her now. Maybe if she stitched stilts directly to her feet, she'd become the tall, beautiful idol she'd always dreamed of. Ahh, what kind of thinking was that? She was already the most beautiful idol the world had ever seen! Just not the 'tall' part.

"My parents are finishing dinner up. Wanna come to my room?" She nodded without thinking, figuring that was the best place to hang out while waiting to eat. However, she started really thinking about it as she climbed the stairs. The two of them were going to be in Honoka's bedroom, _alone_. Suddenly, she felt a lot of pressure settling on her shoulders. This seemed like the best place to have their first kiss. Yes, they hadn't kissed yet. They would when they were ready. Shut up.

She wondered if they _were_ ready, though. Maybe Honoka was, but she wasn't sure that _she_ was. Of course, she'd thought about it before. Sometimes she'd watch Honoka talk about something completely irreverent and think, _'I really want to shut her up with a kiss,'_ but she never would. It wasn't that she was nervous that she'd be a bad kisser or anything. Certainly not! She was probably the best kisser out of any of their friend group! If she and Honoka were to kiss, she'd probably knock the poor girl's socks off. That'd be some kind of hazard, right? She didn't want to be responsible for any injuries that may happen to her girlfriend. Her lips had to be used for good.

Of course, now _all_ she could think about was kissing. They were in Honoka's bedroom, which she had never been in before. She'd been to Nozomi's place, and Maki's second or third house or whatever, but never Honoka's. This was the first time she got to see just what was in her room, and it made her very curious. She started to wander around, checking out all the posters and photos that Honoka had put up. At least she wasn't thinking about kissing anymore. At least, not a hundred percent.

"Hey Honoka?" She picked up a framed picture off of Honoka's dresser: it had several girls that looked like idols, with signatures scrawled across the photo in black ink. "Who are these girls?"

"You don't know?" Honoka came up next to her with a smile, taking the photo from her hands. "I thought you knew all about idols."

"Oh just shut up and tell me." She scowled and crossed her arms, sticking out her tongue at Honoka.

"Okay, okay." Honoka laughed, putting the picture back on her dresser. "It's George. They're a school idol group that's trying to compete in Love Live as well."

"They're _who_ now?" 

"George! You've never heard of George?"

"Don't test me, Honoka. I know there's no such idol group as _George_. Who would name their group that???" Honoka had to be lying. There was no way there was an idol group with a name like that. It was stupid! George? For real? Yeah right.

"I'll show you!" Honoka pulled out her phone and started typing something. Nico looked over her shoulder, seeing that she was bringing up the school idol rankings. After scrolling for a bit, Honoka stopped and pointed triumphantly. "See? Right here!"

"Well I'll be damned..." Right under Honoka's finger was indeed an idol group named George. "What a _stupid_ name! Who names their group George?! That's just..." She prodded the picture with a finger, accidentally knocking it over. "That's stupid." Honoka grinned her stupid, cute little grin.

"You're just mad because you didn't know who they were."

"Okay, yes, but screw you. Nobody knows who they are, and you can't convince me otherwise." She crossed her arms and stuck out her tongue again, watching Honoka giggle oh-so cutely. Honestly, the girl was too cute for her own good. She was going to get someone in trouble. Like Nico. She was going to get _her_ in trouble specifically, because of how much she wanted to kiss her gods dang lips.

If there was any time for them to have their first kiss, it would be now. They were laughing and having a good time after a little back and forth, like they always did. Except this time they were alone, and in Honoka's room. The sun was going down, and it just seemed _right_. Despite that, she felt really nervous. As much as she didn't want to admit it, having her first kiss was more daunting than she'd imagined. She worried that she would do it wrong, or that _Honoka_ would do it wrong. Honestly, that was more likely, but still... What if they shared their first kiss and there was nothing? No spark, no moment of incredible clarity: nothing. She was scared to find out that they might not be right for each other, because she really, really did like Honoka.

"Hey, Honoka?" She started to fidget nervously, which was completely unlike her. It must be because she'd spent so much time with Honoka that she was taking on her tendencies. So yes, she could still blame Honoka for this, but that didn't stop her from fidgeting. Gods, why was she nervous? They were going to be fine! It was just a kiss. A kiss that they hadn't even had yet. One that could make or break their relationship... What if she wasn't a good kisser? That was impossible, right? Right???

"Mhm?" Honoka seemed so much more at ease than her. Heck, she wasn't even fidgeting! Well, there was a first time for everything. Maybe she was just more comfortable in her own element. This was home court advantage for her, after all. Had Honoka ever thought of kissing her, like she had in the reverse? Or was that just something only she obsessed about? This really should be so simple: lean in, lips against lips, boom. Oh oh, it's magic. Of course, she just had to be a complicated little cutest idol in the world, didn't she?

"Well, you see-"

"Honoka! Dinner!" Honoka's mom shouted out from downstairs, interrupting her. She watched Honoka's eyes light up, giving her two thumbs up before rushing for the door. Standing there, she waved Nico over, trying to get her to follow posthaste. Rolling her eyes, Nico walked over at a slower, more sullen pace.

She wasn't sure whether to be relieved or disappointed by the interruption. That all depended on whether or not she would've made a fool of herself trying to kiss Honoka, and she wouldn't know that because she had been interrupted. It was all very cyclical. She hated that she was being so anxious about this. It was just a kiss! She kept trying to tell herself that, but she couldn't stop thinking about how important it was to her. Unfortunately, it was all she was thinking about on the way downstairs.

Thankfully, there was a distraction down there: Honoka's family. Mrs. Kousaka immediately came over to give her a hug, which she reciprocated in kind. 

"We're glad you could join us for dinner, Nico." She smiled down at her, and it struck her just how different her smile was from her daughter's. It was a lot kinder and more motherly, while Honoka's was always so bright and pretty goofy at times. She also smelled like the meal they were about to eat, and Nico really liked that.

"Well, thank you for inviting me, ma'am." She could see Honoka staring at her in confusion out of the corner of her eye, but she ignored her. At some point, she was sure Honoka was going to whisper something stupid to her, like "Wow, you can be polite???" First off, rude. Second off, of course she could! The great Nico Ni knew exactly how to act around authority figures. If she was going to make it in the idol industry, she had to learn just what butts to kiss and which egos to massage. It was a fine art.

"Yes, it's nice to finally meet you." Leaving Mrs. Kousaka's hug, she saw Mr. Kousaka standing there with an outstretched hand. She smiled and took it, shaking it and trying not to go wide-eyed at how her hand, tiny as it was, was nearly swallowed up by his own.

"Same to you, sir." Another surprise was that his smile was the one that looked more like Honoka's. Just from his appearance, he seemed strong but very compassionate, making her feel like she had nothing to worry about being there. She hadn't been worried about coming over in the first place, but she felt even _more_ at ease, which was strange. Maybe Honoka had gotten her aura from him.

They all sat down at the table, with a chair having been added to fit Nico. She sat next to Honoka, with Yukiho having already been seated on the other side of her. While she'd met Yukiho before, she didn't know much about Honoka's younger sister. The one thing she had noticed was that she seemed a lot more reliable than the lovable airhead she called her girlfriend. If she wanted to cuddle during a thunderstorm, she'd called Honoka. If she needed something important done, she'd probably call Yukiho, and then just hope Honoka never found out.

Mr. Kousaka started to cut up the meat that was on a plate in the middle of the table, offering a slice to the girls. Everyone took a slice with a quick thanks, then added some rice and bread to complement the meal. "What would you like to drink, Nico?" Mr. Kousaka stood up from his chair, coming over to where she was sitting and offering to take her empty glass and fill it up with something.

"Water is fine, sir. I'm trying to watch my figure." She smiled sweetly, then looked over at Honoka, who had a glass full of soda she was about to take a drink of. Nico smirked at her, so Honoka just stuck out her tongue and drank a third of her glass in one gulp. This really _was_ the person she'd chosen to date, huh? Mr. Kousaka came back with a glass full of water, which she took with a thank you and had a small sip of it.

They all gave thanks for their meal, then begin to dig in. She had to hand it to them: the family made some damn fine bread. Sometimes at school, Honoka would pass her some of her bread so she could have some for lunch, and it was always good. However, this was some freshly warmed bread, and it was like heaven in her mouth. Now she understood why Honoka was always going on about this stuff. It was divine: enough to where she almost forgot about the rest of her food.

"So, Honoka tells us that you want to be a professional idol." Mrs. Kousaka smiled at her, having set down her chopsticks to converse. That was the complete opposite of Honoka, who wouldn't stop eating even at the risk of choking. In fact, she was presently stuffing her face with meat while glancing between her mom and Nico. That seemed about right.

"Yes ma'am. I know it's a tough industry, but I'm determined to become the best idol Japan's ever seen." It had always been her main goal in life, going hand in hand with providing for her family. Finding a job in a less stressful industry would be easier, and possibly easier for her family too, but she wasn't prepared to give up on her dream. They would have to yank the microphone from her cold, old fingers. Oh, the frailty of someday becoming twenty-four.

"Well, from what Honoka's told us, you're a pretty good idol." Mr. Kousaka sliced his meat into pieces, then picked one up with his chopsticks and placed it in his mouth. At least he didn't scarf the entire thing down like Honoka. Or at least _tried_ to. It usually left Honoka nearly choking, and Nico did _not_ know the Heimlich. "I don't know much about idols, but it seems that Honoka really enjoys it. We're glad that she's found new friends who share her passion." That made Nico smile. It was nice to hear someone supporting her - and Honoka's - love of idols, instead of being automatically dismissive of it. She'd dealt with a lot of that before.

"And a _girl_ friend," Yukiho added with a snicker. Honoka went red, apparently kicking at her sister under the table if the yelp of pain Yukiho gave off was anything to go by. The two of them then started some kind of kicking battle until their mom sternly told them to cut it out. All the while, Nico was glad for the distraction, since it let her try to beat down the blush on her face. No, she wasn't embarrassed to be dating Honoka. It just sounded odd to hear someone else say it out loud.

"Anyway!" Honoka called out, trying desperately to change the topic. "This food's great, mom, dad. Thanks for the meal!" She went back to scarfing down her rice, though Nico could tell it was in an attempt to distance herself from the previous embarrassment. However, she wasn't sure that it was worth choking over, so she reached over and slapped Honoka on the shoulder.

"Slow down, dummy! Don't kill yourself at dinner!" She stared Honoka down until she slowed her hand, smiling sheepishly as she set her bowl and chopsticks down. "That's better." She turned around, realizing that the other Kousakas were staring at her. Had she just called their daughter a dummy right in front of them? Whoops... "Uh, I mean, good job, Honoka. You're... You're so smart, and very careful too." Honoka beamed, as if she didn't realize that Nico was trying to save face in front of her family. What a dummy...

"You don't have to pretend in front of us." Yukiho grinned, pointing a finger at Honoka. "We all know she's a real dummy." Honoka pouted deeply, flicking a couple grains of rice at her sister. Nico rolled her eyes, though she wasn't exactly surprised that this was happening. Honoka often _did_ act like a child, but she'd known that going into this. She was the one who chose to date her, so really, wasn't it at least partially her own fault?

They eventually did get through dinner relatively unscathed. When she wasn't having to worry about her girlfriend choking to death, Nico could really enjoy the food in front of her. Obviously she'd known that the Kousakas were good breadmakers, but at least from the taste of this dinner, they were good at making varying foods as well. She could cook a pretty mean meal herself, but she didn't mind stepping away from the kitchen every now and then.

However, she did find herself back in the kitchen eventually. Mr. and Mrs. Kousaka were preparing to wash the dishes after all the food had been consumed, but she volunteered to do it in one of their places. Since they had been generous enough to let her eat with them, she figured that helping to wash the dishes was the least she could do. Unfortunately for Honoka, that meant she was inadvertently roped into it too. She pouted and whined, but there was no getting out of it. Yukiho had to hold back her laughter, lest she get heard and forced to help as well.

"Thanks a lot, Nico," Honoka whispered crossly, drying off one of the dishes Nico handed to her. 

"Oh, get over it, you big baby." Nico rolled her eyes, rubbing a sponge across one of the dishes. Suds splashed around between the two sinks where she and Mr. Kousaka were washing each dish. She had rolled up her sleeves, not wanting to get any water on her cute sweater. It was interesting how comfortable she was doing this kind of work, considering how she'd been told multiple times that she had a 'trophy wife' vibe to her. _'Hmpfh.'_ Whoever she married would be _her_ trophy wife, let's be real. _She_ was going to be the breadwinner as the world's top idol.

"Thanks for the help, you two." Mr. Kousaka gave them a thumbs up before returning to washing the dish he held in his other hand. "It's tough to get Honoka to do the dishes without a lot of effort. I think you've become a good influence on her, Nico."

"Daaad!" Honoka whined, which only got a laugh out of her dad. Nico could only beam with pride. She was being a _good_ influence for once. Take _that_ , Nozomi! 

"Thank you, sir. Sometimes it just takes a bit of tough love." She glanced at Honoka out of the corner of her eye, grinning at her. Honoka just sighed and shrugged her shoulders in defeat, drying off the next plate handed to her. 

"So Honoka tells me you do a lot of work around the house taking care of your siblings." Huh... She hadn't expected Honoka to speak about her that much to her family. It made sense that she would, but for some reason she hadn't imagined it was that important. "It must be a lot of hard work."

"It is, but I gotta do it. My family's counting on me." She always put her family first. Even her idol career was meant for them. Though it was also a desire she'd had for so many years, she knew that becoming a successful idol would get her a good deal of money. With that money, she could help her family get out of their lower class living. She wanted that more than anything.

"That's very responsible of you. I bet they're all very proud of you." She was positively beaming at that point, happy to allow her ego to inflate just a little. "You could definitely teach Honoka a thing or two." He laughed, his smile once again reminding her of Honoka. From just looking at the two of them, one might not truly know the two were father and daughter, but she knew Honoka enough to see the truth.

"Wow, is this just 'Be Mean to Honoka Day'? Because I don't want to celebrate that." She pouted a little bit more, but then she started to laugh. Such a simple scene was suddenly very eye-opening to Nico. She could see the real connection between the two: how much they cared for one another. It was really an amazing father-daughter relationship, and it made her feel something deep in the pit of her stomach. She didn't want to admit what it was, though, so she tried her damnedest not to think about it.

Luckily, returning to the dishes gave her a chance to push those thoughts down. They kept trying to rear back up no matter how hard she pushed, though. Mr. Kousaka was good at small talk, and it made her feel included. It seemingly took no effort for him to make her feel like a part of the family. A part of a _full_ family. It made her stomach start to twist, but she didn't want to say anything. That wouldn't be fair, when he was being so nice to her. 

"Oh, shoot, dad!" Honoka cried out, startling Nico and nearly making her drop the bowl she was holding. "You wanted me to remind you about something!" She rubbed her chin in thought, then shook her hand with a groan when she realized it was wet. "Uh, you didn't tell me what it was, though. Just that you wanted me to remind you about it."

"Ah yes, thank you for reminding me." He grabbed one of the towels laid out and dried off his hands. "I'll be right back." He stepped out of the kitchen, leaving Honoka and Nico to stare at each other in confusion. Nico quirked an eyebrow, figuring that Honoka _had_ to know what was going on, but she just shrugged. That was typical Honoka, honestly.

"Tada!" Mr. Kousaka returned with two kingblades in his hands. Nico's eyes widened, recognizing her own color as well as Honoka's. "Honoka told me about what the kingblades mean in the idol world, and since you're dating my daughter, I figured I should get yours as well." He lit them up and waved them around. They weren't really impressive under the kitchen lights, but the intent was there. That was the important part.

"Oh wow, that's..." Nico swallowed thickly, feeling something uncomfortably hurtful building up inside her. "That's awesome!" Her voice jumped an octave as she tried to smile. All she could see was the genuine smile on Mr. Kousaka's face. He had taken time to try and understand something that his daughter was into. Not only that, but he had gone the extra step to make his daughter's girlfriend feel included. It was so nice, and that's what made it hurt. "Thanks, Mr. Kousaka. I, uh... I..." She bit down hard on her lip, trying to keep herself together. "I gotta use the restroom. I'll be right back, 'kay?"

She spun around on her heel and walked out of the kitchen, trying not to seem in too much of a rush. As soon as she had passed behind the wall, however, she started running. When she reached the bathroom, she hurriedly opened the door and pulled it shut, locking it before allowing herself to breathe. However, her breaths were all shaky, just like her hands. She could feel the hint of tears falling onto her cheeks, but it was the strangled sob coming from her lips that really let her know that she'd lost control.

"Oh Gods..." She sunk down to her knees, hugging herself and whimpering pitifully. At least she couldn't see herself in the mirror, because that'd be an embarrassing sight. Everything had been fine at first, but now she was locked in the guest bathroom and crying like a little girl. She knew how pathetic it was, but she couldn't stop herself. It was all because of Honoka's dad, and it was her own damn fault.

She'd lost her dad when she was young, and it had affected her in ways that even a decade later she was still trying to sort out. There was no longer a father figure in her life to guide her, and that combined with her mother constantly working meant she had to learn a lot about life on her own. She didn't blame her mom, since her hectic schedule was needed to keep them from losing their home. It still left her with a lot of responsibilities, though, and sometimes the weight of it on her shoulders was crushing. Those were the moments she really wished her dad was there to let her know if she was doing things the right way. She was supposed to mourn all of this at night, though: in her bedroom, when everyone was asleep and nobody could hear her. This wasn't supposed to happen while she was with her girlfriend.

"Nico?" Speaking of her girlfriend... She could hear Honoka knocking on the door, her voice low. "Are you okay in there? You sounded upset. Did I do something wrong?" Wow, she had _not_ expected Honoka to be that perceptive. Maybe she didn't give her enough credit. Or maybe she had just gotten lucky. Either way, she couldn't leave her out in the cold right now, especially when she was thinking maybe _she'd_ done something wrong. Of course that dummy would think she'd done something when she was completely innocent... for once.

Sighing, Nico unlocked the door and opened it up, wincing at the concerned expression on Honoka's face. "No, you didn't do anything. Just get in here." She grabbed Honoka's hand and pulled her in, shutting the door and locking it once more. Honoka was staring at her tear-stained cheeks, her expression darkening. "Look, this isn't a big deal, okay? I'm alright." She wasn't, but she didn't want Honoka to worry. Whenever she started to worry, she'd go out of her way to try and fix it, which meant a lot of overcompensation that often made things worse than where they'd started.

"But you're crying." Honoka frowned deeply, fidgeting nervously as she tried to figure out what to do. Nico hurriedly wiped at her eyes, as if the removal of her tears would suddenly make her girlfriend feel better. "Please tell me what happened. Are you sure I didn't do something wrong? Umi always says I can be a bit overbearing."

"Honoka, _please_." She sighed deeply, trying to keep herself from snapping at Honoka. Honestly, it wasn't her fault. She was just worried, and she was trying to help like a good girlfriend. That didn't deserve any negative stigma. "First off, Umi is right: you _are_ sometimes overbearing." Honoka looked down, seemingly saddened by her words. "But it's fine. You're not doing anything wrong, and you didn't do anything wrong, okay?" Honoka still wasn't looking at her, so she had to grab her cheeks and make her look up. "Okay?"

"Okay..." Honoka still seemed unsure, but Nico could tell she was perking back up. "But why were you crying, then?"

"It's... difficult to explain..." Nico tugged on the collar of her sweater, knowing how weird the truth was going to sound. She knew Honoka would have a tough time understanding, but she wanted to hear the truth. Maybe she needed to _tell_ the truth, anyway. Wasn't that part of relationships? "It's because of your dad."

"My dad?" Honoka rubbed at her chin, getting lost in thought. She had to be careful about that, though, or she might never return. "Do you want me to go tell him off?"

"No, do _not_ do that." Nico sighed deeply, running a hand down her face. "He didn't do anything wrong, okay? It's just because he's really, really nice."

"So should I tell him to be _meaner_?" Nico groaned and chopped Honoka on top of her head. "Ow! Whaaat?"

"Does that _even_ make sense?" She just stared at her, and she didn't want to hear what she was going to answer. "Look, I'm jealous, okay? I'm jealous of you, because you have such a great family. It's a... a _full_ family. Your father is really nice, and he cares so much about you. Seeing how great he is just makes me miss my own father." She could feel the tears starting to come back, and she hurriedly raised a hand to try and stem the tide.

"Oh..." Honoka quieted down, suddenly at a loss for words. "I'm sorry..." She bit down on her lip, tapping her fingers furiously on her hips, then on the sink. It actually made Nico feel bad for even bringing it up, since it had clearly made Honoka nervous. The last thing she had wanted was to turn their first dinner together at the Kousaka household into a pity party for her. That was for when she was trying to get out of idol practice.

"No, no, do _not_ be sorry." She wiped at her eyes, then turned away from Honoka to look at herself in the mirror. There was a little bit of red now in her eyes, which made her grimace. "I... I never told any of you what happened to my father." She saw Honoka tilt her head slightly in the mirror, curiosity now evident on her face. "He..." She took a deep breath, her body shaking. Even a decade later, it was difficult to talk about it. "He died when I was young. I have so many fond memories of him from my childhood. He was the one who made me want to be an idol." She smiled wistfully at the memory of her father teaching her how to sing into a fake microphone he brought home one day.

"But I've had to grow up without him, and it just _sucks_." She put her hands on the sink, gripping it tightly. Though she tried to not think about it too often, whenever she did, the pain would come back almost as fresh as the day she found out he was gone. "Not having him just makes me feel empty. If he was still here to raise me, maybe things would be different..." She didn't want to say out loud what things would be different, but she could certainly _think_ them. Maybe if was still alive, she would be as confident about herself on the inside as she was on the outside. Maybe she would just act _normal_ , and people wouldn't look at her like she was a pitiful little child.

"Oh Nico..." Honoka came up and hugged her from behind, resting her head on Nico's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I think I understand now." Tears started to fall again, and no matter how much Nico tried to wipe them away, they kept coming back in full force. Eventually she was forced to give up and let herself cry. It was too late to save face in front of Honoka now. Hopefully her girlfriend wouldn't judge her for being a big baby.

"You didn't do anything wrong, okay? And neither did your family. You just have real nice parents, and seeing how supportive your father is makes me miss mine." She wondered if the two of them would've gotten along. Since they had been both so supportive of their daughters, she liked to think they would have. If only they'd gotten the chance... Would her father be proud of how she was living her life right now?

"Well, I know it's not the same, but..." Honoka kissed her on the cheek, her reflection smiling softly. "You'll at least have my dad to support you and tell you really bad dad jokes." Nico snorted with laughter, shaking her head fondly. Honoka sure was a character, but she was _her_ character, and she was happy to have her in her life.

"I suppose I'll hold you to that then." She turned to look at Honoka, feeling how genuine and loving she was being. Suddenly she felt like _this_ was the moment to have their first kiss. What a moment to think that. She was still crying, and she'd just bared her soul to someone in their bathroom, which wasn't exactly prime therapy real estate. Her reflection showed that she was looking a right mess, and there was absolutely nothing about this scenario that screamed 'kiss your girlfriend for the first time,' and yet she could feel it in her soul. Nozomi was right: there was definitely something wrong with her.

In that moment, she decided to act on it. Would she regret it in the immediate aftermath? Maybe, but screw it. She saw Honoka's eyes widen as she put her hands on her shoulders, leaning in and closing her eyes. The moment she pressed her lips to Honoka's, she felt the sparks that she'd always prayed to the Gods that she'd feel. Maybe she was just imagining them because she wanted it to feel that way so bad, but she would accept that in a heartbeat.

She squeezed Honoka's shoulders, her heart hammering in her chest as Honoka kissed her back. In her fantasies, she had thought that everything around them would disappear, and it would just be the two of them swimming in a nebula of love. A nebulove. It wasn't like that, though. She was very aware that they were doing this in the guest bathroom, and she could still feel the tears clinging to her cheeks. Still, it didn't make the kiss any less intense, or feel any worse. It was still a kiss that made her soul soar.

"Woah..." Honoka let out a shaky breath, pulling away and looking a bit dizzy. "That was..." She searched for a word to describe it, but she could only settle on "... wow."

"Yeah, wow." Nico laughed, leaning against the sink. Then she realized that her back was not appreciative of that, so she shuffled over to lean against the wall next to it instead. Her first kiss... She gently touched her lips, feeling a tingling spark moving across them. "I, uh... think that might've been inappropriate." She laughed awkwardly, wiping more tears from her eyes. Thankfully, they didn't respawn this time.

"Uh, maybe, but it sure was nice." Honoka had such a goofy smile on his face. It made things seem normal again. "Wow, that was our first kiss." Her smile suddenly dropped. "Wait, you're sad, though. Does that mean I took advantage of your vulnerable state?"

"Honoka, _I_ kissed _you_." Nico rolled her eyes, playfully punching Honoka in the shoulder. "How could you even make me do that?"

"Uh..." Honoka thought on that for a moment. "Maybe I mind controlled you into doing it."

"Don't you have to have a brain to do that?"

"Wow, rude." Honoka laughed, obviously not offended by her joke. "I hope you're alright, though. If there's anything I can do, you'd tell me, right?"

"You being here and letting me be with your family is more than enough." She had to quickly correct herself, as she'd almost said 'in your family' instead of 'with'. They weren't exactly betrothed or anything. A few months of dating was way too short of a time to think about getting married. Still, she liked the thought of being able to go over to Honoka's house and get to spend time around her father. It wouldn't heal the hole that was still in her heart, but she could feel a nostalgic feeling of warmth having some sort of father figure around her.

"We're always gonna be here for you!" Honoka gave Nico a thumbs up, allowing her to relax. There were plenty of reasons to believe otherwise, but seeing her eager determination really did put her at ease. "Uh oh..." Something finally dawned on Honoka. "Oh crap, I forgot! We were supposed to help my dad wash the rest of the dishes!" Oh yeah, that _was_ a thing they were doing. 

"Yeahhh, that's kinda my bad." She rubbed the back of her neck, knowing that it was her unnecessary breakdown that had left Mr. Kousaka doing the dishes by himself. Honoka seemed to realize that she was feeling at fault for that, so she leaned in and captured her lips in their second-ever kiss. Now it was Nico who was caught by surprise, but she happily kissed back, wrapping her arms around Honoka's waist. They stayed there even after they pulled away, their kiss ending way too quickly for her liking. "What was that for?"

"Because you don't need to worry so much. Dad's not gonna mind you taking your time. You're our guest after all." She laughed, then began rubbing the back of her own neck. "Though I'm _not_ a guest, so he might be mad at me." She went right back to smiling, planting a tiny kiss on Nico's nose. "And also, I just wanted to kiss you again." A faint dusting of red came to her cheeks, but she kept smiling widely. She held out her hand, waiting patiently. "You ready to go back? We can stay in here longer if you want."

"No, I'm ready." She took Honoka's hand, holding onto it tightly and pulling herself off the wall. Did she really deserve such a caring girlfriend and her loving family? Probably not, but as long as she had them, she wouldn't dare let them go. "Let's go back and see if there's anything more we can do to help." She squeezed Honoka's hand tighter, as if a loose grip would let it slip away, and then she'd somehow lose Honoka forever. No matter what, she wasn't going to let go.

"Okay then!" Honoka opened up the door and tugged her along, muttering to herself, "I hope he finished, though..." Nico laughed, feeling a moment of peace at hearing the same ol' Honoka. At the same time, there was still a bit of turmoil rumbling around inside her. Holding on tightly, she looked up, trying to see beyond the ceiling, past the sky and into the Heavens themselves. She wondered if her father was looking down at her, and if he thought she was making the right choices.

_'I hope you're proud of me, papa. Someday, I'm gonna be the greatest idol the world's ever known, and I'm gonna dedicate every song to you.'_ She looked at the back of Honoka's head, smiling warmly. _'And maybe a stupid ginger that I love too. I love you, papa. I'll never forget you.'_ Her heart felt a bit lighter as they went back into the kitchen, where Mr. Kousaka was still waiting for them. He sent a smile in their direction, but this time she felt happy. It made her feel a warmth that she wanted to hold onto for a bit longer.

"Sorry to take so much time, sir. Is there anything left for us to do?"


End file.
